Tik Tok had me in a chokehold the other day. My algorithm consistently pushes me natural hair content (silk presses, curly hair care, sister locs), healthy recipes, and speech therapy influencers. Clearly, it has me all figured out. The video on my phone screen was all about taking care of natural hair. The stylist was expertly handling the client’s full head of hair. And the hair was doing what natural hair should do. It was bouncy, healthy, hydrated, and well taken care of.
I looked a little closer at the client’s face and thought that they looked familiar. Eventually, it hit me who the person resembled. Notice I said resembled. It couldn’t be the person that I was thinking of. After all, this was a random Tik Tok video. I did not know where the stylist was located, but what were the odds that they would be getting their hair styled by this curly hair specialist?
To protect the identity of the individual, let’s call her Cleopatra. I know Cleopatra well. Although it has been a few years since I have seen her in person, I see her regularly through social media. When her videos and pictures show up on my timeline, I watch them and laugh along with her. Through the screen, I have celebrated her triumphs and been sad when life deals her a tricky situation. So although they look similar, they were not the same person.
For one thing, the client on the screen had to be twenty years older than Cleopatra. Her skin had all the tale tell signs of age. More prominent wrinkles. A noticeable sag under the eyes. Let me be clear. She was a beautiful woman. So this is not a bash on aging. I am just telling you how I verified that this was not in fact Cleopatra. Although it had been a while since I had seen Cleopatra on social media, I had not ever seen her wear her natural hair. She regularly wore wigs, weaves, or braids. The stranger on the internet seemed to be a consistent client of this curly hair specialist. While it was possible that Cleopatra was just using protective styling to preserve her beautiful hair, this could not be her. People resemble each other all the time.
Just for fun, I hopped over to Cleopatra’s socials. Since it had been a minute since her content had come across my timeline, I wanted to catch up with my real-life turned social media pal. Imagine my surprise when I saw Cleopatra rocking her natural hair for all the world to see about 10 posts into her profile. This was the exact hair that I saw on the stranger that resembled Cleopatra but was clearly not her.
For one thing, the lady getting her hair done by the curly hair stylist appeared to be heavier. Cleopatra looked downright slim and trim in the photos that I was seeing. That stranger’s skin looked more washed out. Cleopatra’s skin was gleaming and smooth. Oh so smooth. Like glass skin smooth…OMG. Wait a minute. Those earrings look familiar. Cleopatra WAS the stranger on the internet.
Turns out that I had been bamboozled for years. Thanks to modern technology, Cleopatra had been able to nip and tuck. She had been able to smooth and soothe her way into a more polished version of herself. And when I saw an actual video of her that she could not manipulate, I was unable to clearly identify her. She seemed familiar but just not quite like the person that I knew her to be.
I can’t be too hard on Cleopatra. We live in a society with technology that makes it so easy for us to blur out what we deem to be imperfections. With a few clicks of a button, you can take a not-so-great photo of yourself and make it look exactly the way that want. You can do the same with videos. You get to show the world what you want them to see.
Do I use filters? Of course! I like to play around and soften the hyperpigmentation on my face. I am glad that I can give my skin a dewier glow without the trial and error of finding the perfect products. A fresh look is only a click away. But it is not real. And when I get off social media, I still have the blemishes. My skin is still in need of moisture. The image that I have projected to the world is gone. And I have to look at myself in the mirror. Am I recognizable?
Cleopatra….girllllll…..I did not know that was you! Clearly it has been way too long since we connected in a real way. Such a simple thing has challenged me to look in the mirror at myself. Physically and spiritually. Does my lifestyle line up with my beliefs? Are the intimate conversations that I have with the Lord reflected in the way that I show up for others? Do the fruit of the Spirit make consistent appearances, or do I fake my way through it?
It is wild that a random scroll through Tik Tok caused me to look at myself in such a needed way. Judging Cleopatra for her actions came so easily. Judging myself came a little while later. My increased time in my prayer closet has helped me see myself more clearly. It has caused me to show up and acknowledge that I must be authentic with who I am. Blemishes and all.
This blog provides an opportunity for me to be me. I get the chance to be open in a way that is particularly challenging for me but also absolutely necessary. I am pursuing progress and not perfection. I really hope that what I put out into the world is an accurate reflection of who I am. I am growing and evolving. I am striving and surviving. What about you? #wepreach
