Decisions, Decisions

I haven’t arrived at the place in my life where I make all the right decisions.  As a matter of fact, I spend a lot of time questioning my choices.  “Was that the right move?”  “Maybe I should have ______.”  “How did I end up here?” You would think that with all of my second-guessing that it would take me a long time to make up my mind about anything.  And your thinking would be wrong.

Although I weigh my options when a decision has to be made, I don’t tarry long.  I do the thing that feels good to me.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I will pray and ask God which way to move, but like I said….I don’t tarry long.  It’s like I have ants in my pants.  I jump feet first into my decision and ride it out until the end.

Well, life has taught me that is not necessarily the best course of action.  All that jumping feet first has seriously damaged my feet.  And instead of jumping in, I’m dangling my feet off the ledge to see how far the fall will be.  Real talk, I just want God to sit at the table with me and say, “Look fool…this is what you need to do.”  But it hasn’t worked out like that.  I’ve only audibly heard the voice of God once.  And I obeyed Him…for a while.

So, I guess that’s the problem.  I get in my own way.  Even when He takes time to correct me, I get beside myself.  I chase after the next dangling carrot and push His voice to the side.  But I know that doesn’t always have to be my story.  I have the power to change.  I have the power to push my desires to the side. With the help of the Holy Spirit. Because this flesh…

Just pray for me.  I’m reading the Bible.  I’m fasting.  I’m praying for myself.  I need to hear His voice.  I need to know the next move that I need to make.  I do know that I’ll have to jump if He says to jump. Even if it seems like it’s a long way down. I just want to make sure that it’s His voice and not my own.  If He does get to hollering at me again, I’ll let you know.  Until next time.  #wepreach