I need bifocals. I am no stranger to prescription lenses. I believe I was in the fourth grade when I got my first pair of glasses. And I will let you in on a little secret. I desperately wanted those glasses. Not to correct my vision. I thought that my vision was just fine. I wanted glasses because I thought they were so cute. In my mind, they would be just the thing I needed to take my look to the next level.
The glasses served me well. Not only did they cement the look that I was going for, but I could actually see clearly. When you are accustomed to the world being blurry, the right prescription can turn your world view on its head. The leaves on the trees had definition. The teacher’s writing on the board did not require me to squint. My speed reading skills leapt to a new level.
Junior high changed that for me. See, the very glasses that I coveted…..the look that I really thought would define my cuteness….well, they didn’t seem that cute anymore. I was growing and so was my sense of style and fashion. The problem was that now I KNEW that I needed help to see. Even if it didn’t align with how I viewed my style. Even if I did not want the world to see me that way.
With these thoughts in mind, I took a radical step. I asked my mom if I could get contacts. After some intense eye contact and a prolonged silence, she consented, but she had one condition. I had to be able to put them in and take them out myself. She wanted no parts of my whining or helplessness. After some initial difficulties, I was a full-fledged professional. My daily eye contact ritual became a breeze. My new look was secured and my vision remained intact.
And that brings us up to the present day. After about 30 years of regular contact usage, my eyes waved the red flag. They needed more air. And lubrication. So out came my glasses. Only…..things that I used to see clearly were…..fuzzy. My prescription did not seem to be doing what it was supposed to do. My vision was not as clear. I had to take my glasses off to read things that were up close. The optometrist easily identified the issue. I need bifocals.
Unfortunately, my physical vision is not the only aspect of my life that is fuzzy. My spiritual vision has been blurred. The Lord told Habakkuk to “write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.” And people will run around the church at revival. They will feel renewed, refreshed, and reinvigorated. But I am not in a position to run when I cannot see.
The decline in my spiritual vision mirrors the decline in my physical sight. It did not happen overnight. It happened slowly. It happened in stages. Bit by bit. Until one day, I realized that I was not seeing God the way that I needed to see Him. I could not see Him clearly. No amount of squinting adjusted the vision. I suppose it’s good that I finally realized that my spiritual life was out of focus. The sad thing is that it took me way too long to realize.
How do I correct my vision? I need bifocals. My prescription has changed. The level that I pursued God in my earlier years just will not do it. My alone time with God has to increase. I have to look at issues in a two-fold way. I have to look at the natural world AND the spiritual world. They exist in tandem. When I filter natural events through a spiritual lens, my vision improves.
Can I be honest? I struggle with the need to have more time with God. Because WHO HAS MORE TIME???? Listen, writing blogs daily and having concrete time with God at a set time every day was just a part of my lifestyle. It was structured. It was guaranteed. And then I fell in love. And then I got married. And then I became a full-fledged stepmother. And my schedule was flipped upside down. Single days became a thing of the past, and I threw myself into being the best wife and mother that I could possibly be.
Does God hear my whining and helplessness? ABSOLUTELY. But after the whining, I realize that God wants me to put feet to my faith. He will give me the vision, but I have to remain committed to a DAILY ritual with Him. See I KNOW that my vision is trash without Him. I KNOW that I need His help to see.
I need bifocals. And so do you. It just took me a long time to reconcile that. I am grateful that you are along for the ride. #wepreach
