Faulty Vision
Fun Fact: I didn’t want to go to college. I vividly remember touring the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville in my junior year of high school. The campus was HUGE! There were so many students hustling and bustling around. While it was beautiful, I knew it wasn’t for me.
Before deciding to attend the University of Central Arkansas, I toured that campus too. It was nowhere near as large, but I figured I could tough it out there. Plus, it was close to home. I didn’t want to be too far away, because I didn’t want to go in the first place.
Bible Study Brother found it odd that I had no desire to go to college. I explained to him that I didn’t think I could make it through to graduation. Yea, I was high school smart, but was I college smart? All my life, I heard about how hard college was. The late-night study sessions. Twenty-page papers. Throw my introverted nature in there, and it was a recipe for disaster. I wanted no parts of it.
You may wonder what my alternative plan was. I wanted any get rich quick scheme that would show my mom that I could survive. I wanted Jesus to drop a wad of cash in my lap the summer before college so that I could politely decline this education.
I’m sure it sounds foolish to you, but I don’t like failure. In my mind, the rubber was about to meet the road, and I was going to come up short. After the fall semester of my sophomore year in college, I had a grown-up, mature, enlightened conversation with Bible Study Mama. I had bullet points about why taking a break from college was a good idea. She shot me down and told me to keep on pressing. Ugggh!
I had great grades, but failure was all I could see. Isn’t that crazy? I look back, and I’m so glad that she didn’t let me quit. Right now, I don’t want to try to reach my goals. Nothing major is wrong. I’m just tired. And my goals seem so far away. They are at the top of a mountain that I’m unsure about climbing. Mannnnnnn…I’m going to climb the mountain. Be prepared to hear about this journey. #wepreach
