The Container

Waves of grief wash over me in the most random moments. I was looking through my Tupperware/random container cabinet to find something to place food in when I saw it. I am sure that you would love to know what “it” is. “It” is a circular container with a bright red lid. Now why would a circular container with a bright red lid stop me in my tracks and make me cry? Good question.

Tomica and I fasted for 2 weeks every month in 2020. Life was life-ing, and we both knew that we needed to discipline ourselves and sit in God’s face. To be honest, we had no intention of doing it every month of 2020. We started in January as a way to hit the ground running in the new year. Then Bible Study Brother accepted his call to ministry, and we agreed that we probably needed to do it again in February to pray some more from him. In March, COVID-19 broke wide open, and I was unemployed. So, we sought his face again. By that time, we knew that prayer and fasting needed to happen every month for the rest of the year. We made a commitment, and one of our 2020 challenges was off to the races.

We committed to do the Daniel fast for 7 days and no meat for the other 7 days each month. Which meant a complete overhaul of our grocery shopping and a stretching of our recipes. Lots of Google searching and tinkering in the kitchen. The world was sheltering in place. And while we were sheltered, we cooked. She would cook a recipe that she had found, and I would make one that I had found. And we would share. I would put my new concoction in the circular container with the red lid and give it to her. When she finished, she would fill it up with whatever she had made and give it to me.

The last concoction that occupied the dish was some chili that I made while Tomica was in the hospital. She had not eaten the day before, and I just knew that if I made her some of my chili it would perk her right on up. I spooned the chili into the container and placed it in the refrigerator. The next morning I got the call that changed my life. The chili in the container flew out of my mind. When the dust settled, I threw the chili away but kept the container. I put it in the back of the cabinet. I put it out of my mind. Until today.

You know what’s funny? I had never really studied this container before. And looking at it for real made my tears flow even faster. All around the container are red birds perched on tree branches. Like the red birds we would call out to on our walks. The red birds that reminded us of our loved ones that we had lost. This is not an accident or coincidence. I see the hand of God in the smallest things, and, to me, this is no small thing. It is a reminder to me to continue to seek God’s face. It is a reminder to continue to fill my life with nourishing things. And it is a reminder to share the nourishment with others.

Tomica is gone, but not forgotten. Her memory calls to me loudly and often. And pushes me to keep living. And to keep loving. What are you filling your container with today? And who are you sharing it with? #wepreach