Wheels Up!

Happy Anniversary to me!  One year ago today, I boarded a plane to Utah.  Very nervous, but desperate.  And I was so desperate that I was flying across the country to spend four days in the mountains of Utah with strangers.  No cell phone reception.  Just time alone with my thoughts and this group of unknown people.

I heard about the Haven retreat when I attended a women’s conference last October.  There was a lady there who was selling Younique makeup.  When it was time to introduce herself, she went from talking about the makeup to talking about being an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse.  She went on to say that her company offers a free retreat for women that need healing.  Participants are responsible for transportation to and from the retreat but everything else is provided free of charge.

It sounded too good to be true.  And if it was true, what kind of help would they really provide?  The old adage “you get what you pay for” was ringing in my head.  But I took the leap.  I applied.  And they had an opening for me that week in December.  I pushed past any reservations that remained and bought a plane ticket.  And one year later, I am so glad that I did.

I NEEDED that retreat.  It gave me the opportunity to see myself in a completely different light.  Flawed and broken but not destroyed.  Sitting in group therapy and classes and talking with other women that had similar stories to mine.  Feeling hope and unity.  Knowing that I was not alone.  Really being able to share my story without fear that someone would run back and tell it to someone else.  I had the chance to unload and refuel.  I left some painful stories in Utah and picked up some beautiful memories.

The girl in that picture did not know what she was in for.  Hence, the expression.  But my God, what a difference that trip made in my life.  Now the retreat is not Bible based and folks are not walking around quoting scriptures, but I heard God so clearly in my time away.  He wants me to be whole and healthy.  He withholds nothing from me, and I am so grateful that He loves me enough to push me into uncomfortable situations.

Parts of me wish that I could go back and speak to myself.  To reassure me from one year ago that I was making a great choice.  But I had peace in the moment.  Even though it was out of the ordinary, I trusted God.  There is a beauty in not knowing the outcome and letting God lead you.  True faith is responding to His voice and holding His hand as He guides you through the valley.

While the retreat is free monetarily, you have to pay a hell of a price to gain access.  I hope and pray that any woman reading this hasn’t already paid the price, but the statistics say otherwise.  One in four women is a survivor of child sexual abuse.  What a sad reality.  But there is hope and help available.  If you are interested in more information, you can go to youniquefoundation.org.  You can apply to attend the retreat or find an online support group.  Do not walk around carrying all that emotional baggage.  There is a place for you to lay it down.  You do not want to have to pay for that extra luggage on the plane.  It weighs you down, and you cannot soar as high.  #wepreach