What is Forgiveness? Part II

Super heros are an amazing creation. It’s even more incredible when you know one in real life. To me, that person was/is my sister. For the majority of my life, I’ve seen her do the most difficult things with extreme ease. She is, by all accounts, the purest definition of black girl magic. I aspired in a lot of ways to make my sister proud of me.  She was my first best friend and de facto parent when my mother wasn’t around. What does any of that have to do with forgiveness or finding out what it means you ask?

 Well, all siblings fight.  And our biggest fight was surrounding a decision I made. I won’t go into too many details about what choice I made, but just know I made it with no regrets and with one focus in mind. We’d never been this mad at each other ever. We had gone months or weeks without speaking before (given how petty we both can be) but nothing of this magnitude.

 I felt miserable. I felt alone. I didn’t feel at all like myself. I was disconnected from all the things that made me feel sane. My sounding board, my day one, my big sister was no longer there for me to lean on. I stewed in anger and resentment. I allowed stress to wear me down. I let my joy be stolen from me. I felt sicker than I’d ever felt before. Why? 

 The reason was unforgiveness. We don’t understand that holding on to anger and unforgiveness can and will manifest itself in our lives. It will eat away at you physically, mentally, and most importantly spiritually. You will be lost in wherever the enemy decides to lead you. All because you choose to not let go. 

I told you in part one that I never got the chance to reconcile with my uncle before he passed and how much that still hurts me to this day. How then, could I look at this situation and repeat my mistakes all over again? I couldn’t.  Or rather, I wouldn’t. I kept the love I had for my superhero right in my heart. I let it guide me through the storm we’d arrived in. I prayed. I let go. And I let God.

 Once I stopped trying to hold onto the reins and stopped trying to make sense of things from my point of view, God let me know what he wanted for me. He was looking for us to grow. He wanted us to reap the things He’d sown into us. How could we do that if we didn’t do as Jesus did on the cross? Forgiveness can uplift you past so many things if you allow it to. Unforgiveness is poison, while Forgiveness is the cure. Take the cure. #wepreach