Open Your Hands and Your Heart

The blessing of writing this blog is that I get to share my personal walk with the Lord.  The burden of writing this blog is that I get to share my personal walk with the Lord.  Two sides of the same coin.  I have to walk the line between being open and helpful versus open and hurtful.  I wrestle with knowing the difference.

I debate how much information is too much information to share.  Sometimes, I publish an entry that I know did not go as deeply as it should have.  Because I do not exist in a vacuum, my journey with the Lord involves other people.  I want to tell my story while respecting other’s privacy and that ain’t easy.  (I meant to say “ain’t” too Bible Study Mama…she’s my editor ya’ll…LOL)

This past week was the shortest, longest week ever.  I found myself on my knees praying for clarity.  I found myself on my knees asking for guidance.  I found myself on my knees asking for God’s favor on my life.  And then I found myself in a precarious situation.  God challenged me.  Was I going to live life my way or was I going to trust Him and follow His guidance?

I wish that I could say that my first thought was “let me follow the Lord.”  That would be dishonest.  My first thought was that God did not seem to be moving.  Clearly, I needed to take the matter into my own hands.  Now listen, I realize that God is God all by Himself.  But He moves in His own time and sometimes our watches are not synced up.  I grabbed the issue and took hold of it and as my fingers got a solid grip around the issue, I realized that I was in the wrong posture.  I realized I was in the wrong position.  God could not give me what He wanted me to have when my hands were closed.  I reversed course and let it go. 

Let me be clear.  It was not an easy release.  I did not get the warm and fuzzies when I let go and I let God.  But even when it did not feel good, I had to say to myself out loud that I knew that it was for my good.  I called other people to hold me accountable.  I said out loud what my concerns and fears were.  I admitted that I was sad…disappointed…scared.  I did not sugar coat it.  But I also was intentional about reading my Bible and speaking God’s promises for my life out loud.  I reminded myself that God loves me and is concerned about every issue that concerns me.

As my week drew to a close, God met me at a dining room table.  During a regular conversation, He used a person to show me that He hears my prayers.  His ear is tuned to my needs.  Not just spiritually.  Emotionally.  Financially.  Physically.  He not only hears my needs, but He provides.  My hands were open.  I was positioned to receive what He had for me.

This week we get the chance to celebrate the one-year anniversary of biblestudygirl.com.  My prayer going into this week is that we all open our hands and our hearts.  I really want us to be positioned for what God has for us.  #wepreach