It Was All Fun and Games Until…

My mom tells a story about younger me that is so different from the woman that I am today.  I was raised in the country.  Mice were part of our life.  They were in the shadows scampering around.  So, we had mouse traps.  Not the humane traps of modern days.  The traps that snapped when a mouse was in them.  They were loud but effective.

The story she tells involves one of these traps.  At around the age of four or five, I spoke my mind freely.  I had not yet acquired the skill of keeping my thoughts to myself.  I was not the type to filter my words.  I said what I thought.  I meant what I said.  And I did what I wanted to do.

My mom had come to visit one weekend.  Apparently, I thought it was a fun idea to chase her around the house with one of the mice traps.  The trap wasn’t empty.  I held its inhabitant by the tail and cackled as I tried to catch my mom.  I was fearless.  And naughty.  And not in the least bit funny as far as my mom was concerned.

Oh, little young Sareta.  Hearing that story now makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.  I survived the rat invasion in my current home but only barely.  I wanted to sell the house and everything in it.  I could not imagine ever feeling comfortable here again after the rats took over.  Yet, here I sit typing in the dark.  Sleeping well at night.

How did I go from a young girl that played with mice to a grown woman that was ready to give up everything when an infestation happened?  Young Sareta would not let a mouse deter her.  She played with the things that torment me as a growing and maturing woman.

Now let’s be clear.  The rats that used to live in my current home were easily four times the size of the mice that were caught in traps. (I’m not exaggerating…I have pictures).  But the fundamental issue is that they are very closely related.  And I almost let them take me out.  I almost let them take over my home, because I didn’t feel prepared for the fight.  Almost.

This makes me think of my spiritual journey.  I would rebuke the devil and tell him to flee when I was a babe in Christ.  I had so much faith and assurance that God would provide.  As my faith has grown so has the size of the attacks against me.  And instead of getting bolder and more confident, I have found myself shrinking back.  Not wanting to engage in the fight.  And willing to give up the house, this earthly temple, because the fight was too scary.

But thank God for being surrounded by believers that encouraged me when the battle was too scary for me to handle alone.  Community isn’t just a nice idea.  It’s necessary.  They pray with, and for, me.  When evil infestations happen, they don’t let me abandon ship.  They get in the fight with me until all of the demons are slayed.

I don’t have to spend my life running from infestations.  The Sareta that did what she wanted and said what she meant is still inside of me.  Now, I’m reminding myself to speak things that are not as though they were.  And watch God clear up all infestations.  #wepreach