Family Reunion

Uncle Blue. Tomica. Aunt Linda. Uncle Chauncey. 2021 came in like a wrecking ball. Four members of my family gone before I had a chance to catch my breath. Before I could begin to process one death, another one would be gone. And to top it all off, three of them were FAITHFUL members of my Sunday school class. Do you know how difficult it is to have faithful members of a Sunday school class???

While Uncle Blue didn’t join us on Zoom every Sunday, we weren’t worried about him or his soul’s salvation. He was the oldest living member of our family. And another example of a life well lived. If we visited him on a Sunday, we joined him at his church and interacted with his lively Sunday school class. The discussions were always interesting and engaging. His teacher and classmates weren’t stale. No, they dug into scripture and searched for the gold. Of course, my love for Uncle Blue extends far beyond his love for the Lord. He had a love for family that passed on to each of us. A true model of being the hands and feet of Christ on earth. A gracious host. Masterful pound cake maker. Passionate chess player. He put on his heavenly robe on January 1 and became an official member of heaven’s greeting committee. It makes sense that the most gracious host in the family would get there first.

The day after Uncle Blue passed away, Tomica was admitted to the hospital. My grief was now compounded with worry. Not a great combination. My ability to sleep regularly became irregular. I would fall asleep early and then be awake after three hours for the rest of the night. My new pattern made me miss the last video call she made to me. I did not call her back during my restless night because I knew that she needed rest of her own. It bothers me. I think of it often. She finished the PowerPoint for Sunday school in her hospital bed. Of course, we argued about it but she was insistent. When Sunday school started, she messaged me to let her host. She wanted to take care of the behind the scenes while I taught. Instead of fighting her, I gave in. At the end of class, she turned her video on and flashed her signature smile from her hospital bed. We didn’t know that it would be her last Sunday school class. On January 7, her earthly shell said “enough is enough.” Uncle Blue, and the rest of the family that has gone on, greeted her in paradise.

The very next day we went to Uncle Blue’s wake. The day after was his funeral. The day after that we jumped headfirst into planning Tomica’s homegoing celebration. And we wanted it to be a real celebration. So I funneled my grief into doing the best job that we could. Now in full disclosure, I get obsessed with details when planning a regular event. This was no regular event. But my mind was not working the way that I needed it to work. It’s hard to plan a celebration that you don’t want to plan.

By God’s grace, we made it through Tomica’s funeral. I got straight into the business of grieving like I have never grieved before. I sunk way low. I skipped a couple of weeks of Sunday school and then I started back up. Onward Christian soldier. While laying on the floor one day, I decided that I needed to choose life. Not just be a human existing on the earth. I needed to get back to regular activity. I rallied the troops and called for our typical Saturday morning walk.

February 6th was our first Saturday morning walk without Tomica. I had the BIGGEST lump in my throat as I pulled up to our spot. But I didn’t let myself cry. Because if I cried, I would not have been able to get myself together. We walked. We talked. We made it through. Even though we didn’t want to. And two hours later, the bottom of our bottom fell out. Aunt Linda joined that heavenly family reunion.

I’m sure you can guess by now that our grief was in overdrive. All the energy that I mustered up for Tomica’s celebration was gone. My need to have my hands in everything disappeared. I did what was required. We all just wanted to make it through her celebration. And we did. And before we got home good from Aunt Linda’s funeral service, we got the call from the hospital that Uncle Chauncey had about an hour to live.

So we had another Zoom meeting. Only this time, it wasn’t Sunday school. We sat up all night watching Uncle Chauncey. He made it waaay past an hour. He made it through the night. They were able to get dialysis started. I was ecstatic. This was the miracle I had been praying that God would perform. He was showing himself to be a way maker and miracle worker. What a great way to show His love on Valentine’s Day! We stayed on the Zoom all day. And right before Valentine’s Day was over, Uncle Chauncey decided to lay down the burdens of this world. He was on a ventilator when Aunt Linda went to glory, so I’m sure he was surprised to see her on the heavenly welcoming committee.

My heart is heavy. While I know where they are, that does not mean that I don’t miss their presence. It does not mean that I am able to just move on. I am not okay right now. But I have also accepted the fact that that is okay. My therapist assured me that my struggles are valid. My emotions are normal. And God can handle it all. I surely need the Lord to handle it.

I was pressuring myself to get back in the saddle. To start writing regularly. But I don’t have it right now. I use an incredible amount of energy getting through my work days. After spotty sleepless nights. I was really pressing myself to write a beautiful tribute to Tomica for her birthday tomorrow. The simple truth is that I can’t. And that’s okay too.

Instead, I’m writing about the groundwork for the heavenly family reunion that has taken place. I had no hand in the planning. If I had, I would have vetoed the whole thing. I suppose that’s why God didn’t want my input. One day, I will be ready to go on with Sunday school. And I’m going to need new faithful members. I’m sure the Lord will send the right ones. He did a good job with the ones that I lost. #wepreach