Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?

Langston Hughes

During my discussion of my faith walk on the Bible Study Girl podcast, Bible Study Brother brought up the fact that I was one of the speakers at my high school graduation.  I hadn’t thought about that in forever.  When the podcast was over, I tried to remember what my speech was about.  In that moment, I really wished that I had kept it in a folder with a box clearly labeled “Senior Year ’01.”

Although I don’t remember the content of the speech, I do know that I used the poem “Harlem” by Langston Hughes to structure the speech.  His simple, yet powerful poem resonates with me to this day.  He starts off by asking what happens to a dream deferred.  I struggle with my deferred dreams on a consistent basis.

My goal in life was to be married by the time that I was 25, have my first kid by the time that I was 30, and live happily ever after.  That’s it.  That’s all.  I’m not talking about childhood fantasies.  I was 27, 28, 29, and 30 still waiting for my dreams to be fulfilled.  I went to college and did what was expected of me but that wasn’t my dream.

As life and time has gone on, it remains my dream.  But anybody with eyes can see that that dream has been deferred.  So, what am I supposed to do with them?  Do I let it fester and become bitter?  Do I turn my lemons into lemonade and make it better?

Anyone that knows me, knows that I love a good celebration.  I cheer people on all the time as they get to live the life that I dreamed of, but that doesn’t mean that it comes without a price for me.  Y’all I regularly question God about His purpose and plan for my life.  And I ask Him to give me new dreams to take the sting out the dreams that have been deferred and maybe even denied.

Any good saint will tell you that delayed doesn’t mean denied.  But have they really walked it themselves?  And although it is my dream, is it what God really wants for me?  I’m unclear.  I would be lying if I made a bold declaration that said it’s God’s will for my life.  This is an opportunity for me to not give a good church answer.  It’s an opportunity for you to see that I don’t have answers for all of life’s issues.  Thankfully, I serve a God that has all the answers.  So, I’ll continue to wait on Him to build new dreams in me.  #wepreach