An Appointed Time

Obtaining my Master’s degree was hard work.  I remember going to Bible study one Wednesday while I was in graduate school.  My pastor made a statement that stuck with me.  I held on to it for the rest of graduate school.  Really, I reflect on it often when times get tough. 

Now that I’ve created some anticipation, are you ready for what he said?  He said something to the effect that it’s easier to endure a trial when there is a set end.  I grabbed that and held on to it because there was a set end for my time at school.  The requirements to obtain my degree were clearly laid out.  Once I met all the requirements, they would put my hood on over my gown and hand me my diploma.

Lord knows that I was ready for school to be finished.  I had many long days that transitioned into longer nights.  I worked and learned during clinical rotations.  I attended classes.  I wrote papers.  I let my creative juices fly and made therapy materials from scratch.  I fell asleep during study groups while giving my answers.  I worked and worked until that degree was in my hand.  I made it to the end.

The quote haunts me when I don’t know the end date of my trial.  Most often, I find that the difficult parts of my journey fall into this category.  I encounter an obstacle.  Something that’s bigger than me.  And it’s right in the middle of my path.  I was going along just fine, and it drops out of the sky like a Whomp from Mario Party.  It almost crushes me.  ALMOST.  And although I’m still alive, I’m unsure of how to proceed.

God always provides, but I can’t lie.  I get frustrated.  I get confused.  Sometimes, I get angry.  Or, I try to figure it out on my own.  I’ll develop fifteen different plans and begin to implement each one.  I’m stubborn and get offended when things don’t line up the way that I think they should.  I haven’t reached the point in my journey that I can count it all joy instantly.  While I’m much better than I used to be, I’m still a work in progress.  I’m still being changed in this process of life.

My trials and tribulations have helped me develop a real prayer life.  When you don’t know how long you’ll be going through, it’ll make you real humble.  It has made me bow my head.  It has made me surrender my thoughts and ideas and place them into God hands.  Don’t get me wrong.  While I’m praying, I will ask “How long Lord?”  Because I’m human.  He may not answer that question for me, but He constantly sends me reassurance that, no matter how long, He’s right there with me.  #wepreach