Whom Are You Seeking?

365 days have passed since I crash landed at the bottom of the very slippery slope that I was climbing.  I landed right on my butt, and let me tell you, it hurt.  I expended so much energy trying to do wrong.  I was exhausted before I ever fell.  But the fall…it knocked the wind right out of me.

At the top of the slope was the prize.  The thing that I desired most.  A family to call my own.  The opportunity to carve out my little piece of heaven in this world.  A place to belong and feel desired.  A place to feel chosen.  But I went about it in the entirely wrong way.

I was reminded of this season in my life while reading a devotional that focuses on Jesus’s days leading up to the crucifixion.  Part of today’s reading required the reading of the entire 17^th and 18^th chapters of John.  Jesus has just finished praying for Himself, the disciples, and all the believers while in the garden of Gethsemane.  That’s right.  He prayed for others while getting ready to face the toughest week ever.

Judas arrives with an entire battalion of people to betray Jesus.  Jesus doesn’t hide.  He doesn’t try to avoid the crowd.  He walks right up to the army and asks a question that stirred something on the inside of me.  He says plainly, “Whom are you seeking?”  They tell Him that they are looking for Jesus of Nazareth.  Jesus says “I am He,” and the whole crowd falls to the ground.  They are knocked off their feet by the power of Jesus proclaiming who He is.

Again, Jesus asks them, “Whom are you seeking?”  They repeat their earlier response.  And again, Jesus declares, “I am He.”  He requests that they let the disciples go, because after all, Jesus is the one that they are looking for. 

God was speaking to me so clearly throughout these verses.  Remember that slippery slope I was climbing to obtain a prize?  I was seeking the wrong thing.  Desiring a family and companionship in and of itself is NOT wrong.  But the Bible is clear that I should seek FIRST the kingdom of heaven and His righteousness and everything else will be added to me.  I was willing to wear myself out.  Destroy clearly established relationships.  I was willing to lose it all seeking the wrong thing.

When I was sitting on my butt at the bottom of that slippery slope, Jesus walked through the crowd of distraction and asked me “Whom are you seeking?”  My first response was vengeance.  No, maybe it was relief.  He let me know that He was all I needed.  He asked me again, “Whom are you seeking?”  And even in the midst of my hurt, I was able to respond that I was looking for Him the whole time.  He turned to my distractions and dismissed them.  And gave me all of Him.

I’m thankful that Jesus thought enough of me to choose me.  He prayed for me waaaaay back in the garden of Gethsemane.  He chose to offer Himself up for the cross of Calvary.  He secured my place in his family.  He wanted me to know that I have a piece of heaven on Earth when I’m resting in Him.  Resurrection Sunday is coming ya’ll!  Whom are you seeking?  #wepreach