The Speck and the Log

I am so hard on myself. Quite often, I sit and hesitate to push the “publish” button on a blog because it is not quite right. The words do not necessarily convey my emotions the way that I want them to. Or the blog is not long enough.

The harsh criticism of myself is not only reserved for blogging. I carry it into my professional life and personal life. All aspects of my life. I am a nitpicker. An unpaid professional flaw finder. While I do not go around pointing out all the flaws that I see in work that I have done or interactions that I have had, I am well aware of them. And if you ask me what was wrong with something, I can give you a detailed list of every error.

I did not realize how bad it was until recently. I was asked about something and I named every flaw that I saw. I was so embarrassed when they began to name everything that they liked. I blurted out that I saw all the positives as well. I just wanted to point out the flaws. Because quite often that is all I can see. You know that Bible verse about pointing out the speck in your neighbor’s eye but not seeing the log in your own eye? Yea, I don’t have that problem. I see their log and I see mine too. LOL!

Let me be very clear. I do not like this characteristic of mine. I am not overly fond of it. I do not want it to stay around. It has hindered me in so many areas. In my haste to find the bad, I put myself at risk of missing out on all the good. I rob myself of simple joys.

So on today, I am grateful for the blood of Jesus that covered my sins. My imperfections. The not-great parts of me. Because of the blood, I am not a sum of my mistakes. I am forgiven. I am whole. And I am grateful to have continual opportunities to look for the good. #wepreach