Story Time

Ladies and gentlemen, you’re in for a treat. I’ve been toiling over this book while I’m on forced sabbatical (COVID-19 shutdown). Some days are great. I feel the urge to write and pour my heart out. Other days, I stare at this computer and watch time pass on. Day transitions to night, and I haven’t written anything that feels like it’s worth something. In my toiling, I’ve decided to share the original introduction to the book. As the book has progressed this introduction just doesn’t fit anymore. But this is my public diary. So, I’m going to share it with you. You’ll know how I felt at the beginning of the journey. Let’s start story time.

“Take a journey with me.  I’m going to tell you upfront that it’s not going to be easy.  There is nice scenery along the way but there are also some truly scary, and ugly, stops too.  How do I know?  Because it’s my story.

          People often look at me and idealize my life.  Social media gives us the opportunity to display the bright moments in our lives.  The ones we smile for when the camera flashes.  Let me correct myself.  Sometimes people do use social media to rant and rave about the calamites they experience.  They take us on the roller coast rides of their relationships and struggles.  I’m going to talk about the things I don’t want the camera flash to expose.  The dark side of my life.

          I recently went through a season of depression.  It was not the first time that I had felt “depressed.”  Really, I couldn’t put a finger on what the issue was with me.  Truthfully, it wasn’t just one issue.  It was a culmination of issues.

          From my understanding, being a Christian meant rolling with the punches.  We take a licking and keep on ticking.  But what do we do when the blows never stop?  How can I handle life when each time that I’m about to straighten from a previous blow another thing comes to knock me back to my knees?  The church answer would be to pray.  Since you’re on your knees, you might as well pray.  You’re in the perfect position.  Right?

          But what about when you can’t even think to pray?  When you would rather just give up the ghost and die?  Because I can counter your church stance of praying with “To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.”  I’m not saying these things to be poetic.  I’m being as honest as I can.  Life made me THAT tired.  I would say that I wasn’t suicidal because I didn’t have the energy to formulate a plan to die.  I was TIRED.

I’m not a trained psychologist or a theologian.  I’m not a super saint or a super ain’t.  I’m a person.  A regular Christian trying to figure out my place in this world.  A Christian who wants to grab on to that peace, grace, and love that the Bible speaks so freely of.

          I told you it was a journey.  Grab your knapsack and travel with me as I walk you through some of my life.”

That’s the end of today’s story time. Like I said, I’m in a different place now so that introduction doesn’t fit. But it captures my thoughts and emotions on that day. Sharing pieces of myself has taken a weight off me. And you have said that it helps you too. If you feel compelled, I want to hear your stories!! Send them to me at biblestudygirl2019@gmail.com. Direct message me on the Bible Study Girl Facebook page. Find me on Instagram at @_biblestudygirl. I want to discuss your faith walks with you on the Bible Study Girl podcast as well. Let’s talk faith together! As Bible Study Brother says, “It’s not I preach, you preach, or they preach, it’s we preach.” #wepreach