Low Pain Tolerance: Part II
For most of my life, I have considered myself a person with a low pain tolerance. I mean, most people do not like pain, but I avoided the possibility of physical pain like the plague. Get a shot? Who me???? No way. I was all for being a nurse just like my mom until she talked about giving and receiving shots in school. I crossed that off my list and moved on to other options. I was not willingly signing up for pain.
As I got older, I stopped wiggling and whining when I had to receive a shot. I took them with no complaints and was able to get through it without my mom holding my hand (or holding me down). I was mature. I could handle the tiny pinches with no problem. That is until I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes right around my 30th birthday. I mean, I heard what the doctor said, but there was no way that I could personally stick myself with a needle daily to check my blood sugar. Just wasn’t happening. Who would hurt themselves daily just to get a reading on a machine? I was not built for that kind of pain.
My grandma had an intervention with me. She hooked me up with the smallest lancet that would prick me and make the process much more tolerable. And I was off to the races. After years of touting my low pain tolerance and declaring what I could not take, I was experiencing a shift in how I handled physical pain. Getting a tattoo HURT… (I wrote a whole blog about it) but I did not say a mumbling word. I could take pain now.
So, when my body was in physical pain, like can’t sleep at night pain, I decided to ignore it. I thought it was just a one-time thing. Or maybe, I just was not being tough enough. I needed to stop being a baby, take an Aleve, and shake it off. I had convinced myself that all was well. This went on for months. While having an annual exam, my doctor asked me if I had any concerns or anything that seemed unusual. Part of me thought “maybe it is your low pain tolerance rearing its ugly head” but a bigger part of me decided to share that I was in pain. And guess what ya’ll. There was a legitimate source of my pain.
In an attempt to prove how strong I was, I really ended up being in pain for much longer than was necessary, healthy, or reasonable. And I don’t think that just applies to the physical pain that I have experienced. It applies to the emotional and spiritual pain that I wrestle with as well. I am learning to give God ALL of my pain. I do not have to judge how big or small it is. I do not have to try to handle it all on my own and tough it out. I just hand it over to Him. And let the Great Physician heal it. #wepreach
