An Attitude of Gratitude: Tears

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.

Psalm 56:8 NLT

Let me give you a little disclaimer.  I am not big on crying.  Being dramatic…YES!  Crying….NO!  So, imagine how thrown off I have been this year with all the tears that have been shed.  I have cried longer, harder, and louder than I could have ever imagined.  Sniffling…snotting…and snorting.  It has been ugly.  And yet, I am so grateful for the tears.

I can imagine how much worse things would be for me if I tried to keep all that emotion bottled up.  See, I have a tendency to stumble and fall and shake it off immediately.  I will say that did not hurt and limp off to the next task.  Not immobile at all but definitely wounded.  And I won’t take time tend to my wound.  Because there is always work to be done.  There are always people to help.

But these tears…this year…I could not just shake it off.  I had to sit in my emotions and deal with them head-on. (Well, mostly head-on…come on now, I’m human.)  Just last night, I dreamed of my loved ones that died this year.  My uncle was doing his level best to convince me that his death was an elaborate hoax.  That he was actually on a super-secret mission and now that it was over, he could be back with the family for Thanksgiving.  Tomica was there with her smirk on her face telling me that nothing bad had happened.  But even in my dream, I knew that all those things were not true.  So, the tears came fast and hard in my dream.

I woke up with wet cheeks and a wet pillow.  These tears always find a way to leak out.  They will not stay contained.  They flow quickly and quietly.  Not as often as earlier this year, but they still flow.  I am comforted by the fact that God knows my sorrow.  He does not disregard my tears.  He collects them.  He records them.  And for that, I am grateful.  #wepreach